


Comfort

by kirschyhershey



Category: In the Bleak Midwinter (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brother from another mother, Double shot of angst with a pinch of fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Keeping Company, Lots of heavy sighs, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29005527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschyhershey/pseuds/kirschyhershey
Summary: When Ivan and Anya don’t return from their mission, Luka goes to check up on Misha.  The scene takes place late the same night.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 14





	Comfort

Luka took a deep breath and sighed softly before reaching towards the door in front of him. Despite being shaken to the core, he felt a steady sense of calmness stir within him as he gave a light tap on the door and turned the knob. 

"Misha, buddy, are you still in here--"

Luka stopped in his tracks, observing the scene in front of him. The once clean room lodging the two brothers was in quite a state of disarray. Books, wires, and small tools were strewn across the floor, and it was impossible to miss a white aviator jacket covering a small person-sized shape crumpled in the midst of it all. Although the jacket enveloped the shape, the material didn’t expand quite enough to conceal the few ginger curls that had escaped from the top. Luka stared at the sight. Misha must have fallen asleep at some point while looking through his brother’s belongings. The shape stirred, and a muffled, sad voice broke through: “Misha isn’t here.” it replied. 

“Oh? Is that so?” Luka smiled gently while tilting his head to the side, “Then whose shoes are those peeking out of that coat?” Luka then noticed something that made him wince. Ivan’s coat was still covered in dried blood. In all the chaos that had erupted over the past twenty-four hours, the jacket had been tossed aside with no time for cleaning after the past android attack.

“Th--those aren’t shoes. It’s just your imagination,” the voice protested, but before it could say anything more, Luka bent down and lifted the top of the jacket, revealing a small eight-year old boy whose eyes were puffy from crying. The boy’s face, usually flushed with a light, cheerful energy, now was pale and held a weight that was unbearable for Luka to see. Luka had been unable to get away from his duties earlier, and the guilt that had already manifested inside of him doubled.

“Misha how long have you been here by yourself?” Luka directed the question to himself as much as he did to the youth. He was furious for not getting here earlier, for letting Misha sit and worry about his brother all alone. 

”A few hours. I wanted to be here in case he comes back.” Misha slowly shuffled out of the jacket to sit next to Luka, who had knelt down, legs crisscrossed on the floor. “It’s ok, Luka. I didn’t mind being alone.” Somehow that made Luka grimace even more.

“I thought that if I waited here and Ivan came back, then he might tell me about what happened yesterday, he got stitches you know.” Misha turned to face Luka. “I-- I’m worried that something happened and he got hurt again. I really hope he’s ok.” It was as if he was trying to convince himself of his own words. 

Luka could barely look Misha in the eye.

“And what about Anya? I only got to see her one time!” Misha continued, “What if something happened to her? But she’s so nice, why would anyone hurt her?!”

Luka stared down at his hands. He too was deeply worried about his friends. This wasn’t the first mission Ivan had been delayed on before, and he always had hideouts to escape to if trouble arose. _But this time._ Something about this time had an eerie sense of finality that was impossible to shake off. The silence between the two spoke volumes.

Misha then asked the words Luka feared most.

“Do you think they’ll ever come back?”

Luka had never felt so torn. He wanted so desperately to reassure Misha that everything would be ok, that Ivan and Anya would return unharmed, but he didn’t want to give the boy false hope as it would simply deny the gravity of the situation. It was a delicate affair and Luka felt ill-equipped to provide the right answers. 

Silence filled the air before Luka finally murmured an answer:

“I don’t know, Misha.”

The man sighed heavily. “But what I do know is that your brother is a great fighter and he’s survived things most people wouldn’t. Ivan’s not someone who can be taken down easily. And as for Miss Anya... she’s also very strong and I believe the safest place she’d be is with him.”

Luka then turned to meet Misha’s gaze and felt his breath catch. Misha was staring at the man in front of him with an intensity that paralleled his older brother’s, a fact that certainly didn’t go undetected by Luka. The auburn-haired man tilted his head and narrowed his eyes:

_However,_ he pondered, _they’re not completely the same._

Misha’s eyes were softer than Ivan’s, the latter of whom, if the time called for it, could ensnare someone just with his gaze, piercing through as if demanding answers from his target’s micro expressions. This was a habit Luka both hated and admired about Ivan. Misha, however, possessed an intuitiveness in his eyes that was almost jarring to see in someone so young. Although his eyes were questioning, this was the expression of someone who could spot insincerity a mile away and would no doubt make you feel every pang of guilt that came from any sign of deception.

 _God,_ Luka inwardly groaned. _What is it with these two? I’ll never catch a break from either of them, will I?_

He cleared his throat.

“Misha, if something did happen to him, he wouldn’t want you to dwell on it. He’s always been prepared to lay down his life at any moment. He would want you to keep on living.” While these words were true, Luka knew it wouldn’t come close to easing the young boy’s troubled mind. All he could do was stay by Misha’s side and just be there for him.

“I--” Misha stammered and turned away, blinking back fresh tears, “I didn’t tell him goodbye this morning. I always tell him, Luka!” He glanced up at Luka with wide, pleading eyes. “Before he goes out on a mission, every time, I always wake up with him and I tell him ‘see you soon’ and then I try to smile, the biggest smile I can give! Because I know if I do that, then, then he always looks happier when he leaves. But--but this morning…” Misha paused before staring down at his hands desolately, his shoulders dropping. “It was so early, Luka. I was so tired, I couldn’t bring myself to wake up. He left and I didn’t say goodbye! What if he doesn’t come back and I threw away the chance to say goodbye to my big brother! What if--” but before he could finish, Luka had already wrapped his arms around the small boy and pulled him close; Misha needed no further encouragement in surrendering to broken sobs. The tension in the air had finally shattered, but the pain was far from alleviated. As tears pricked Luka’s eyes, he silently whispered a prayer in his mind, begging for any deity out there who would listen to keep his friends safe.  
His friends whom he held so, so dear.  


They remained like this for as long as needed. 

After a while, once Misha’s cries gradually subsided, Luka spied a water bottle near the bedside desk. He grabbed it and handed it to Misha, instructing him to drink so he wouldn’t get a headache from dehydration. Misha gulped down the water within a minute or two, his energy starting to come back. A thought popped into his mind and he began shifting restlessly, ready to speak again.

“If Ivan’s ok and comes back safe, I’ll do anything! I’ll pay more attention in school and I’ll stop putting roaches in my teachers’ desks! I’ll even give _these_ back to Ivan!” At this, Misha pulled a small box out of his pocket. Luka squinted to see and felt his jaw drop in shock at the small bundle of hand-rolled cigarettes tucked away in the box. 

“Misha, where did you get those?” 

Misha glanced at Luka before quickly adding, “I wasn’t stealing! Dr. Everly said smoking is bad for you, but I still see Ivan smoking these. So I thought if I put them somewhere secret where Ivan couldn’t find them, I’d help him break the habit!” At this, Luka had to cover his mouth to stifle the laughter that bellowed within him, turning his head away from Misha’s artless expression. _So that’s where Ivan’s stash disappeared to,_ Luka mused. Ivan had played it off like he didn’t care, but Luka knew it bothered him to be separated from his main vice-- plus it was difficult not to notice the younger man’s increasing bouts of irritability as the days passed. Luka continued to chuckle under his breath, the sudden release of endorphins mixed with the dull ache in his heart made for an odd combination indeed. Luka was used to the latter sensation. Laughter, however, came in limited supply these days.

“Here,” Luka grinned after taking a moment to collect himself, “Let’s trade. I was going to give this to you anyway.” He spoke while pulling out a withered cassette player from his pocket and handed it to Misha as well as a pair of headphones. “Ivan and I are always listening to music with this. I thought it might give you some comfort.” The tape inside was filled to the brim with old rock songs Luka never would have heard if it weren’t for his mother, who always found time to dance with an unbridled energy to the tunes in his childhood home. She loved rock music along with anything and everything vintage. Luka’s father, who preferred classical music himself, arrived home one day with the cassette player and tape in hand, refusing to spill the secret of where he managed to find such rarities. 

It was all Luka had left of his family. 

By the time he’d reached the shelter the humans now recognize as home, the cassette player was so beat up that it was unable to function properly. It remained like that for years gathering dust until one day Ivan happened to notice the cassette player among Luka’s possessions, and, not one to back down from a challenge, wordlessly picked it up and tinkered with the mechanisms until it began to play music again. After that, Ivan and Luka took turns listening to the tape while they worked, proving to be a pleasant routine for both of them. And now, as Luka handed these items to Misha, he felt his heart swell as he watched the young boy’s face light up. Misha plopped the headphones on, unbothered by the fact they were a little too big for his head. Luka pressed the play button and sat back, taking in Misha’s expression. Prior to entering the room, Luka had purposefully fast-forwarded the tape to one of the more mellow, stripped-down tracks so as not to bombard the young boy’s senses. It wasn’t long after the rolling sounds of acoustic guitar and mandolin flooded into his ears that Misha leaned his head back against the bed frame, closed his eyes and let out a sigh that seemed to release a bit of the world from his shoulders. 

They stayed like that for a while, Luka letting Misha listen to music undisturbed. After some time had passed, Luka asked, “Is there anything I can get you, Misha? Did you have dinner?” Misha wiped his nose with his sleeve. 

“No thank you, I’m really not hungry now.” Misha gathered himself, he was beginning to look like his old self again, but then his face faltered slightly. 

“Oh, I have school tomorrow and it’s past my bedtime. I should probably-” 

“Don’t worry about school for now, bud, I already talked to your teachers. You and I are just going to take this one day at a time.” Misha nodded slowly in response, staring ahead. 

“Anything else you’d like me to do for you?”

Misha paused, furrowing his brow until a realization lit up his face, “You can draw, right, Luka? Could you draw me a picture of Ivan? And one of Anya? That would make me feel better!” 

Once again, Luka was surprised by the boy’s words, but he recovered quickly this time, settling himself and feigning a grim look.

“Misha, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your brother is _incredibly_ vain. With my poor drawing skills, I don’t think he would ever forgive me for butchering his likeness.” He was half-joking but for the record, Ivan never would let him hear the end of it. As for Anya, Luka had toyed with the idea of sketching her face a few times, but it always felt wrong to him, like he would be invading her privacy in a way.

But if it would make Misha happy, then he had to try.

“Can you stay with me?” Misha sniffled after a few minutes of listening to a handful of songs and watching Luka sketch. Luka cocked his head. He had already planned on staying with Misha indefinitely, after all that’s why he was there in the first place. Luka opened his mouth to respond but paused suddenly, a faint smile tugging the corner of his lips. He then reached forward and lightly tapped Misha on the nose. 

“Of course, buddy. But only if you give me a smile!” 

Misha stared for a moment before clasping his hands together and flashing a huge grin that showed off his missing baby teeth.

“Like this?”

“Yeah,” Luka smiled quietly, his voice lowered to a whisper. “Just like that.”

And they stayed there, huddled together throughout the night, continuing to pass the time sprawled across the floor, listening to music, drawing pictures, and telling as many Ivan stories that came to mind. Whatever they could do to distract themselves from the muted yet unyielding threads of anxiety tugging at their heartstrings. For now, there was no need to worry further about the uncertain future, as that would come, in time, with the first brush of morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> For music reference, the first song Misha listens to is “Going to California” by Led Zeppelin


End file.
